Let me tell you about this girl.She has a past. If you were to look into it you’d be surprised she’s even alive today. If you could see all the hurt, self harm, self destruction, betrayal, abuse, hopelessness, addiction, desperation for love and shame – you would be completely amazed at where she’s at today!
This girl used to think she was somewhat crazy and it would never change, that she needed to be diagnosed and medicated.This girl used to avoid talking about her past. This girl used to carry guilt and shame with her everywhere she went because it was a part of her and felt it was written on her forehead for all to see anyway. She allowed this shame to make her feel small and insignificant.
She once knew love for a brief moment when she was a teen, real love from God above but she walked away when she thought God had left her. This girl spent the next 20 years looking to fill that void thinking it would never happen and subconsciously aiming to destroy anything good in her life. And even though she was blessed with probably the best man in the world she was still very unhappy deep down. Even though she found ways to avoid drugs and go a more natural route, she was still unhappy. She didn’t realize that the happiness and love she was seeking was with her all along, calling her, keeping her alive, protecting her, sending her the perfect person to love and protect her – her husband.
Then one day she decided to listen to God’s constant calling for her. It was hard because she had dealt with strong uncertainty and disbelief for a while. She began to listen but was reluctant to give all of herself to Him. She was afraid of what she would have to give up, afraid to release the comfort feelings of her pains to Him. (We can become so used to our pains that they become a place of comfort, it’s a cop out). She wasn’t sure He would truly take it all. She had thought she was so bad for far too long and she would always be insignificant.
But then she finally did it, she laid on her face in a pool of tears and gave it all to Him, telling Him all the things she carried for so long. She learned to open her arms and receive His perfect grace, then she stood on her feet with her arms stretched as high as she could and DECLARED WITH AUTHORITY THAT SHE IS FREE from all of those chains, all the bondage, all the shame, fear and insecurities!
She is now so zealous for the love that set her free! She doesn’t look back but it’s willing to share her story if it’ll help others know the freedom she’s received. She isn’t ashamed anymore because she is not who she was and doesn’t carry that old girl around anymore. That old girl is dead.She is made new!This girl is me. A daughter of the most high. No longer a slave but free, genuinely happy, and gaining true wisdom on a daily! I have never been more full of joy and life.It’s real, it’s true, it’s yours if you want it. It’s not as hard as you may think.